he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have already put on my inside pants.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
