I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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