Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
