found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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