She's JV to your varsity
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
