you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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