I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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