if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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