Just fell off a train. Bad.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
