Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
