so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
