I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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