im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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