My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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