did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
