no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
