Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
