Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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