And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
