I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
