She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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