can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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