i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
