She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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