I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
