Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
