I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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