I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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