I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
