Kiss
Puke
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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