doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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