On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
