I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No stitches, just platelets and will power
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
