oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
