I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
