Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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