I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
