You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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