Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
