I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
