Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I accidentally had phone sex last night
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
