dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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