he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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