I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
