he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think my moral compass just broke
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
