He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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