Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
