**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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