are you still at the devil's house?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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