Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
