What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
